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Seeing Life Through a Blessed Perspective

This facebook video here:

Brought me to tears.

It's why I ended up in healthcare.

From the moment I needed an escape from the reality I lived in... the only decision I gave myself had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with... what can I do for others on my escape? Because I really can't just be here to live and die. I have to have more of a purpose than this suffering and living hell. The love I have in my heart was too heavy for myself alone, I needed to spread it somewhere.

And so, I made my decision and took those hard steps toward that goal. Even with the past pulling me back, WANTING me to fail, TRYING to make me fail. Claws of a dark cloud that dug their nails into my flesh to not let me go forward... I did it anyway.

And the years I spent loving hard, even when I wasn't allowed to because of capitalistic healthcare politics (oh, its ugly)... I refused to let them stop me from what I knew I was supposed to do.

The hours spent off the clock helping others, when I wasn't supposed to, but how could I not when they NEEDED me.

Healthcare is bittersweet in the trenches, as many of my healthcare colleagues can attest to.

I gave my heart with every treatment, every carved piece of time from my life.. knowing I may not get much in return. But it was okay. Because, I'm a giver. And that's what we do.

Soon enough, physical pieces of me manifested and that outpouring of love and devotion needed to be shifted. Though it led me on a different path, my heart felt full knowing I made a difference where I was, when I was needed.

*soft chuckle* and life shifted again. Though the manifestations of that heavy weight carried within me -- called love -- is now through the outpouring of words, it brings me relief I can still make an impact on someone's life.

Perhaps, the quiet reader who felt lost and abandoned in the dark .. perhaps the one smiling outwardly in a crowd but crying on the inside. Whoever it may be. I hope my worlds and words touch you the way it does me when it slips through my fingertips as a gift to the world.

Because love flows and was never meant to be contained. Like the river, in order for it to bring life, it continuously moves and transforms through other things. It continues to breathe life and bloom in those around us/those who have been touched by us so that we may pollinate others in our own ways, inadvertently paying it forward to the next.