Author's note:
Poetry always has a place in my heart.
The strings of the past.
The thread that kept me tethered to this world when everything around me told me I should no longer be in it.
Like a long lost love, it finds its way back to me like an innate gravitational pull.
Inevitable.
Irresistible.
Undeniably needed.
Time sliced in pieces
Reminisces of when i kept folding myself
into smaller versions
The origami of who i once was
like paper creased by hands
that no longer remember
the shape of love, just what was
What I thought was meant to be
the ocean inside me
Turbulent as the roaring waves
Crashed onto rocks
Spraying what was between the lines
Between the crease no one sees
And yet stillness found its way
Wedged in dark crevices like barnacles
Healing wasn’t a simple destination
But a rising tide
That comes and goes
Threatening to consume if one’s not ready
Forgiveness, the new survival skill
Fought and won against old mechanisms
Machinations against the system
Silence doesn’t fold
Between heartbeats
it rolls like kneaded dough
Toughness pounded in with each fist
The colloid structure of integrity
Smiles through glass structures
We call our lives
False realities and things we hide
They warn about the ledge
They were all propagated to fear
Ingrained in souls beyond their years
Never once to question the machine that grinds
Our very bones into dust
Forcing us
To watch as the wind takes our cremated remains away
I turned to find
All that was behind the glass screens
The inner screams
The broken dreams
Shattered faults
Outstretched hands, they convince you to stay
For you to walk away from what you can’t unsee
They think the machines can still rewind
Turn back time and the kind
But I took a step back toward that ledge
Never once doubting the edge of labeled sanity
They couldn’t understand
Why one would play such a hand
Because they didn’t realize
That faith was in the fall
Surrendered sweetly
Giving it all
Away
Gnashing of teeth
Revealed in sleep
Revelations of things
Faces and names
It was never a game
When He revealed it all
Reminding me of what I had chosen to fall for
The perceived dangerous edge that led
To hope and truth
…and joy
Landing directly into divine hands that held me firmly
Just as promised
Beyond their comprehension
I couldn’t fault
For all have walked in such dark
Stumbled and folded like crushed paper planes
Once soaring until destroyed by self induced rain
Windows left open
I can’t be the one to close
Only the one to stand
And offer you a hand
To come close enough
To show you there’s a way
Beyond the crashing waves
Inside the strongholds
And gilded cages
He forged me into a lighthouse
A foundation to withstand
The crushing pressures at hand
A fortress able to show you the way
For I had always been the one willing to drown…
In order to save.
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